I’ve always been set in my ways. Ask my husband; I’m sure he’ll attest to the fact that I don’t like to bend — not my principles, not my ideals, and certainly not my rules. However, as I continue this journey known as parenthood, I’ve found that a little flexibility can have its advantages.
Wiktionary, an online dictionary service, defines flexibility as the quality of being flexible; suppleness; pliability. Basically, it’s about being able to bend without breaking in two. Now what parent doesn’t feel fractured at some point?
If you’re a working parent, you have the stress and schedule of your job. Add to that your children’s homework schedules, extracurricular activities, music lessons and other activities, and your calendar is a jumble of penciled-in events.
Now add the work that needs to be done around the house — cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking. Certainly being able to plan and organize helps keep everyone sane on such a busy schedule. However, there are times when being flexible becomes even more important.
Last week, we saw two canceled school days, one two-hour delay and one early-release afternoon, all thanks to our northwest Indiana weather. If I had not employed a sense of flexibility last week, I guarantee that I would not be here to write this column today.
It started out like any typical week does for the Harris household. We had our outfits ready and ironed for the week. Lunches and dinners were planned. Schedules were confirmed, and everyone knew what to expect.
Then the snow fell. And fell. And fell some more.
All of a sudden I found myself in emergency mode. I was rearranging work meetings, doctor appointments and swim practices. I had to find last-minute babysitters and quick substitutes for meetings. I worked from my home office while my kids fought — I mean, played — upstairs.
In addition, one full day was spent in the emergency room with my son, trying to decipher the strange pains in his lower right abdomen. Have a child say “my stomach hurts on the lower right side” and the majority of adults around him will scream “appendix!” That day, I had three business meetings and a lunch appointment scheduled. None of that happened.
Instead, I focused on what was needed at that moment: taking care of my son. Thankfully, all turned out well and we were released in the afternoon with a “just take it easy and he should be fine.”
As a parent, I think that’s what flexibility really means. Things come up and plans change at the drop of a dime. By focusing on what is immediately needed at any given moment, and doing it all while taking a deep breath and staying calm, all can eventually turn out fine in the end.
We made it through last week by simply bending when we needed to and changing our plans as the situations dictated. All of my meetings were rescheduled and my work still got done. The kids had extra time to hang out at home, and in the end we had more time together as a family.
This past Sunday, it all started again: Our typical week was planned. Our outfits were chosen and ironed. Lunches and dinners were thought out. Schedules were confirmed. Everyone knew what to expect.
Then came Monday morning …
My husband came down with a vicious stomach bug that rendered him absolutely helpless for three days. Considering that I was — as always — counting on him to help keep us one happy family, his illness put a wrench in our plans.
Luckily for me, and perhaps him, too, I am becoming more apt to bend. I’m learning that flexibility is key to remaining calm and sane in this glorious journey called parenthood.
STACEY HARRIS lives in LaPorte with her husband and two children. She is an account manager for a national advertising agency.
