I’ve made a decision.

   I am going to become a hugger — a big old bear hugger. Not only that, I’m going to become a man hugger.chip-jones

   Let me explain.

   The world of hugging has changed a lot in my lifetime.

   When I was younger, men hugged women, women hugged men and other women. Men shook hands with men.

   Looking back, the only man-hugging-man situations I can remember were church guys (May the Lord be with you), drunks (I love you, man!), and football players (AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! Or whatever it is football players say when hugging).

   I played some baseball and basketball, but we were not like football players. We high fived, forearm bashed or slapped hands, rear ends and backs. There was very little hugging.

   That’s how it was, right, wrong or indifferent, until I became an adult. Then the hugging world changed — very gradually.

   I don’t remember when it first became noticeable. Maybe the late ’80s or early ’90s. But guys started hugging one another.

   The original man hug is really a half hug. It can go right or left. Two guys feel the need to embrace, for whatever reason — church, booze, football, whatever — and they original man hug.

   Original man hugging is a four-stepper. Step one: The man huggers face one another. Step two: They each put one arm (right or left) on the other’s shoulder. Step three: They lean in, not touching chests. Step four: They double pat the other guy’s back with their loose hand. The more uncomfortable a guy is with hugging, the harder the double pat is. There is no lingering.

   I was OK with an occasional man hug — in the proper context.

   Then some things happened.

   My daughters got into high school and liked theater and music. Theater and music guys are huggers. Not original man huggers, but hugger huggers. Apparently, I put off enough of an old jock scent and didn’t get hugged often. But now and again after a great performance I would get offered a hug. Too often I hesitated or settled for an original man hug.

obama biden

Barack Obama and Joe Biden demonstrate the official man hug.

   Then my dad got older and more sentimental. My brothers are church-guy huggers and got him hugging. He has become more of a son hugger. I have become more of a dad hugger, but too often I hesitate and settle for an original man hug.

   Then I got my first son-in-law. He is from the hugging generation and a hugging family. There are times, greeting and leaving when everyone is hugging everyone, we face up, and I hesitate, settling for a handshake or an original man hug.

   I mentioned this hugging hesitation to one of my hugger brothers. He gave me that look that only brothers can give brothers and said, “What is wrong with you? Screw it, hug ‘em.”

   He is right. Really right. Screw it, I’m going to hug ‘em.

   I do have two questions.

   One, I have two male teenage nephews. Are they exempt?

   Two, I have a son-in-law in waiting. He was a football player. When I hug him, do I yell “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!”?

CHIP JONES is a lifetime LaPortean, the voice of the Slicers on local radio, and a real estate agent. Contact him at

chipjonesmtm@comcast.net.