Why are some people naturally neat and tidy? How is it that your neighbor, who volunteers on community projects, is not interested in coming to the cookouts to which you invite her? And why, for heaven’s sake, does your co-worker always reach out and grab your arm when he is telling you a story?

   These, and many of the other little mysteries of life, can be explained by a person’s personality.

   At some point, many of us have taken a personality profile or personality “test.” It may have been an informal profile or a more structured one from the various systems that are available. I teach the system, “The Personalities,” and find it to be a fascinating glimpse into thought and behavior.

   What most of the systems have in common is that personality characteristics tend to cluster into four basic groups. In “The Personalities,” these groups are: Popular Sanguine, Powerful Choleric, Perfect Melancholy, and Peaceful Phlegmatic. For most people, one of these groups is dominant and one is secondary. If you understand your personality and know the personality of the people around you, it is easier to work, live, and spend time together.

   Let’s take a look at the verbal and visual clues that are characteristic of each personality.

   Popular Sanguine: Having fun is the top priority of Popular Sanguines. They would much rather go to a party than to a meeting because they love to talk — talking is fun. They are great storytellers and tend to hold on to the arm of their listener (they don’t want their audience to escape!) They tell stories on themselves, often with loads of personal details. Sanguines love to laugh and tend to be loud. They prefer bright colors and accessories; women tend to wear a lot of make-up. Shopping is often a favorite activity because it provides the color and sparkle that makes life interesting. These likeable personalities don’t have a well-defined sense of personal space, and that results in hugging, back slapping, and other forms of physical contact. They can strike up a conversation with anyone, whether it’s standing in a check-out line or sitting in the airport.

   Powerful Choleric: Because accomplishing a goal is the number one priority for this personality – and they have a long list of goals to accomplish — they do not like to waste time. Practical clothes and shoes and minimal accessories are the mark of Cholerics. Easy haircuts are essential because they have too much to get done to fuss with their hair. These personalities are action-oriented and they walk with a purpose, which almost looks like marching. They often point their index finger, pound their fist, or put their hands on their hips when they talk. Quick “get-to-the-point” communication is important. They don’t like chit-chat and prefer not to have to engage in small talk. Because of that, they tend to avoid social functions that do not have a purpose. For example, they would rather go to a meeting about a project than to go to a party. They can often be blunt and aggressive with a “get it done” attitude. Being natural leaders, they will usually rise to the top in any group.

   Perfect Melancholy: The priority for this personality is making sure everything is in order and done properly. Their space, whether it is a bedroom, office cubicle, or car, is neat and tidy. Having to share a space with someone who is not tidy is a source of frustration. You can often spot Perfect Melancholies by their appearance. Their clothes tend to be classic designs in toned down colors with simple, well-chosen accessories. Every hair is in place, their shoes are shined, and if you get a glimpse inside their purse or briefcase, everything is in its designated spot. Melancholies are quiet, private individuals who tend to think before they speak. They are sensitive and introspective, with a natural attention for detail. Because they have such a strong sense of order, you will often hear them use the word “should.” Sometimes the need for perfection paralyses them into procrastination or inaction. They are naturally critical, both of themselves and others, and can become depressed if something doesn’t go as they think it “should.”

   Peaceful Phlegmatics: Phlegmatics are the hardest personality to spot. These easy-going people naturally blend into whatever situation they find themselves. They tend to take life as it comes and set few, if any goals. Because of this, motivation is difficult, both for themselves and for the people around them such as bosses, teachers, or parents. They dislike conflict and tend to be natural peacemakers. Relaxing is a high priority and can take the form of watching television, sleeping, reading, golfing, etc. Often they are good workers, but want to know that when the job is done, they can relax. They have the potential to become good “learned leaders” and can become good managers because they tend to not take things personally. They are not bossy or moody and are often described as “steady.” Procrastination and the lack of attention to detail can, however, be troublesome results of their laid-back attitude. Because they are so laid-back, Phelgmatics prefer comfortable clothing, easy hair styles, and few accessories. Making sure all the little tasks get done is not one of their strengths because they tend to be forgetful.

   Understanding the personalities can be a kind of freedom. It helps you understand that people truly think and behave differently and that no one personality is right or wrong. But the natural inclination for most of us is to assume that the way we behave is the correct way to behave. Relationships can be more positive when you come to understand who you are and allow others to be who they are. Hopefully, this column has given you some tools to identify the personalities of the people in your life. Let us know what you discover!

LISA J. NIELSEN is a Certified Trainer with “The Personalities,” developed by Florence Littauer. She lives in LaPorte with her husband, Rod.