Nine years ago, life as I knew it changed for good.

stacey_harris-logo   It was Aug. 31, 2001. On that gorgeous, late-summer morning, I rolled my very pregnant self out of bed and immediately began anticipating the chocolate ice cream I was going to have for breakfast.

   But our son decided differently.

   Not due to arrive for another three or four weeks, he made up his tiny mind that he couldn’t wait any longer to show the world what he had to offer. Sparing the details, he made a fun entrance and hasn’t stopped showing his sense of humor since.

   I admit I was very nervous before his arrival. His big sister was 4 years old at the time and I had my hands full. I was nervous about whether I could handle another child. My world then revolved around our daughter — how in the world would I ever love another child as much as I did her?

   For several months before our son’s birth, I was convinced that this second child was doomed to a lesser status, well beyond the “second children have less pictures hanging on the walls” mentality. I feared I wouldn’t have the time to care for him as much as I did his big sister, and my heart could never hold enough love for both of them. These thoughts made me doubt my own abilities as a mom.

   Then he arrived, and everything changed.

   The moment I heard his cries and saw his head full of hair – and I mean head FULL of hair – I knew all of my doubts had been silenced. I immediately understood how moms with multiple kids evolve to care for each individual child. It’s as if my heart and brain immediately expanded, allowing for all the feelings and thoughts I needed to care for this new baby in addition to his big sister.

   Those first few weeks after Jack was born were hectic, but it became quickly obvious that the Harris family had been completed. Months before I wouldn’t have agreed with that thought, but after Jack joined us, it was apparent to me that he was our missing puzzle piece.

   Of course, that completed puzzle brought with it new fears, thoughts and anxieties. As anyone who has both a son and a daughter knows, they are very different creatures. This is especially true in our home. Gabby is the life of any party. She’s vibrant, outgoing and isn’t afraid to tell you what she thinks. Jack tends to be quiet around those he doesn’t know well. He’s reserved and sensitive, yet he has a sense of comedic timing that continues to amaze me.

   Loving these two individuals is something I continue to work hard at every day. There is a continual debate in our house about who is the favorite child. Having had a brother myself, I understand those anxieties. There’s a need to make sure everything is equal.

   Despite what they might tell you, I try hard to treat them equally, but there are days when one might seem favored over the other. It just happens. On those days, I picture them going to the scoreboard hidden in the closet and putting a notch in the appropriate column so that they can prove my indiscretions.

   I have to admit: Loving two children — and more to the point, making sure they know it — is a full-time job. There are days when I would much rather hide under the covers. Yet, sure as the sun will shine, I’m rescued by the sounds of the kids’ laughter and I remember that morning nine years ago. That morning when all of the fears I held were quickly extinguished and in their place came a never-ending supply of love and understanding.

   When things get tough, I hold onto that morning and remember that everything changed that day — including me.

STACEY HARRIS lives in LaPorte with her husband and two children. She is an account manager for a national advertising agency.